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February 17th, 2002

I feel terrible. I am beat up and bruised.  My body aches and emotionally, I feel angry.

It all started this morning when I looked outside and the weather was beautiful. I woke my son Dusty and I said “as a father and son event let’s go skiing today”.  I was excited, he was excited. Mary was a little to put off by being left out, but that was understandable.

So, after breakfast we packed up and headed for the slopes.  When we got there the weather was beautiful. Unfortunately, we had arrived about 20 minutes too late for ski school.  Dusty’s friend, Atsuki, was in the class taking the lessons, but Dusty was too late to join.  So we decided to go up the mountains by ourselves.  When we were up on the mountain, Dusty decided that he needed me to hold him while he skis. I told him it was difficult for me because I was such a bad skier, but he wouldn’t listen. So I tried.  And I tried.  But all I did was fall on top of him and crush him into the snow.

When we got back to the ski lodge, we bought some hot drinks and sat around and talked.  We talked about what may have gone wrong. We both knew he could ski by himself and that I was just dragging him down.  So we decided to try one more time.  Can you believe it? This same thing happened again.  He became insecure on the slopes, asked me to hold him, and I ended up falling on top of him.

Finally, with both of us beat up and tired we went back home in defeat.  Now I feel disappointed, sad, and a little angry. But don’t worry, I’ll be over it before next weekend. Next Sunday in another day, and we can try again.

update: March 3rd, 2002

Last Sunday, the weather was terrible. So nobody could go skiing. Today however the weather was beautiful. I was going to take Dusty skiing, but Mary said it was her turn to go.  So while I watched the children, Marion and Dusty went off to the slopes. Anjel slept most of the morning while Kyler and I played computer games.  When Mary and Dusty arrived home they were very bright and cheerful.  As they laughed and smiled they told me stories about how they skied down the slopes, played in the snow, and had a wonderfully merry ol’ time. Although I was happy that my son was learning to ski and that my wife had had a much deserved break from the house, I was a little envious...